what's love got to do with it?

it's interesting making new friends.
and these new friends were made on my own.
without being introduced by other people, and by actually denying my previous opinion of them. and friendships like this make me feel better about my social skills.

i realized that i can't be dependent on other people my entire life to help me make connections. i need to think for myself. this mainly came into my head because i was thinking about college. i want to go to keene state SUPER badly. there aren't many people from central that i'm friends with that also want to go there as their first choice, if any. going to college will be an experience unlike any other. leaving my parents for any long period of time really does make me upset. we have a good relationship.

speaking of that, i realized that i'm lucky. recently a friend of mine has been having a ton of trouble in the parent department. this friend always fights with her mom and her parents are divorcing. i can never picture my parents and i in that situation. like i said, we have a good relationship. they respect my privacy and if they feel like something's bothering me they'll ask about it. but not persistently. and they let me do things unless they feel like it's not worth my time. they get how to be a parent of a teenager. we understand each other. i'm lucky.

in band today we played this piece. playing the first part really puts things into perspective for me. next year i'll most likely be section leader. while i'm not larry, i can do this. that realization hit me today. i can do this. and while that may not sound like anything to any of you, it's a big step. not only can i do this, but i'm excited to.

so i told myself not to think to far ahead into the future. maybe one week at a time. but how can i do that? what's life if you just take it piece by piece? i like to look at the big picture. i like to plan things out for myself. why would i change something that i like to do?

moral of the story: you can do it.