i'm done.

and this is the part of life i like to call: giving in.

so many awkward conversations could've happened.
instead, we both know that we've been ignoring the elephant in the room.
and i guess i was okay with that.
i mean, i didn't want anyone to know.
but now i just can't deal with this anymore.
and i'll give up.
just like you want me to.
and just like other people want me to.
because that's how my life works.

and it goes on and on and on.

i fell up the stairs today for the second time this year.
but today, let's call him justin,attempted to catch me.
hahahahahaha, what a great experience.
i mean, i don't get embarrassed when these things happen.
because frankly, i'm a mess.
and i'm aware of my messiness.
and how clumsy and awkward i am.
but poor justin.
he just wasn't aware of my insane clumsiness.
so i just got up and laughed it off.
and justin goes "i tried to catch you... but it just didn't work out."
and i said "it's all good!"
and then we both scurried off and it was hilarious.

i figured out a little of how my mind works. (which is reassuring...)
i don't really want to spend a lot of time explaining this to you guys because i don't completely understand it myself.
and we all know how bad i am at forming my thoughts into words and sentences.

ok. i have to study for our american lit. test tomorrow.
and read for bio.
i don't understand how i've been home since like 4 and still haven't finished everything.
i guess my mind's still on field hockey time.

moral of the story: give me a month or two... i'll get over this.