(:

just thought i'd let you all know...
today was a good day (:
and i'm happy. the happiest i've been in a little while
:D

and i'm going to Maine tomorrow. so please text/call errday (:

moral of the story: life is good (:
smiley face count: 4

because these things will change

can you feel it now?
these walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
it's a revolution
the time will come when we will finally win.

two years ago in decemeber, life was good.
(and taylor swift came out with a new album and i knew every word to every song... haha)
and then a whole bunch of drama happened.
and my best friends weren't friends with eachother anymore.
that was tough on me.
i always get myself in the middle of things.
and that needs to stop.

so anyway, maggie's birthday is tomorrow.
and we've known eachother since we were 3.
i never thought that things would change... but maybe we just have a pattern that we go by.
i mean, we weren't best friends ALL of those years.
we broke apart in like 3rd grade. and reunited in 6th. so maybe we take three year breaks? i hope not.

what else...
so my "boss" from wilderness camp asked me to babysit a family for like the rest of the summer.
i'm so honored that he recognized my dedication to the kids. (not that i needed to be recognized. i love being a counselor there)
i really would love to. but i realized that i really am not available for the rest of the month. it's crazy.


so anyway, the moral of the story is:
2 years ago is when things started to not be fantastic all the time, maggie turns 15 tomorrow, and i have to turn down a family that needs my help.

...yeah.

construction

so i changed my blog layout. again. haha
and i don't like the blog archive thing. because my titles are usually quite long.
but i'll try to shorten them so that they fit in the box.

and yeah, not that it wasn't already obvious, but i thought i would write about it.
ok, that's about it.

moral of the story: sometimes i point out the obvious...

and in this crazy life.
and through these crazy time
it's you, it's you.
you make me sing
you're every line
you're every word.
you're everything.

moral of the story: sometimes i listen to sappy songs.

that girl is so dangerous.

so this is a dangerous time to blog.
i'm at a breaking point.
i don't know why i can't just be happy for one whole day when i'm by myself.

everything was going so well too.
and then i got frustrated.
and then i got angry.
and then i boiled over.
when will i just run out of tears?
when will i learn to just be happy with myself?

writing this actually calmed me down.
how is it so easy to express myself through writing, but i can't voice my feelings?
how is it so easy for me to fake happiness?
why do i have to fake happiness?
so many unanswered questions.

moral of the story: sometimes i have rough days.

missed.

every step i take
every move i make
every word i say
every single day
i'll be missing you.

syms needs to be over soon please! haha

moral of the story: i miss people.

ok, i definitely posted something last night.
but blogger decided to be stupid and not post it.

jake and i had an official hang out last night (:
ha, i haven't seen him in like, a week. he works two jobs so he's never home ever.
meanwhile, corey doesn't work. so he's home a lot. which is kind of reverse what life used to be.

and i babysat little beckham last night (:
so cute. he's like 10 months old.


so i had wilderness camp this past week.
that camp is so much fun, no matter how much we complain about being tired (:
i became closer to a lot of people that i didn't think i would.
and 5 year olds are definitely the best campers (:

what else... oh, so this wilderness camp is like a church camp. it's really great to witness to younger kids. some of our campers accepted Christ for the first time.

and the Gospel today actually made me pay attention. usually i just space out during church.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ¹⁰For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Luke 11:9-10

ok, i know it's been a long time. and i'll try to post more.

OH! one more thing. i wanted to talk about syms. and how much i miss people ):
and that i want to go next year but my parents will make me pay for half of it. i guess i need to apply for all of the scholarships.

moral of the story: blogger doesn't work all the time. i love my brothers.kids are cute. i actually listened to a gospel. and i miss people.
oh, and italics never came off.

july 16th, 2010

this day needs to be documented.
why?
because it is currently yellow outside.
i'm so confused.

also, today's the first day i went to the beach all summer. and i got very burnt. like, really burnt. so we can also document this as the first time i've burned all summer! which is a new record (:

moral of the story: the end of the world?

i just had to write about this

so i went to wendy's tonight with my mother.
and it was a really interesting experience


first of all, we matched. because we just played a concert. so we had to be uniform and similar. and we matched. i was embarrassed to be out in public in the same outfit as my mother.. haha


ok, so the lines were really long. and the workers were very stressed out and unhappy to be there. *if you're going to work at a fast food restaurant expect for people to frustrate you and expect people to not treat you right if you're being extremely slow. at least pretend you want to be there. get all depressed about your life during a slow spot in your shift.*

so anyway, the couple in front of us had a good attitude about the situation and the male was really friendly and talkative. it was a really cool experience to see people so ok with it.

and yeah, i just thought i'd share that with you guys... haha

moral of the story: i've given up on wendy's

come and set me free,
wherever you are i'll be
i love you so much.

moral of the story: old songs = better songs.

kenneth's inspiration...

there are a few people that like to tell me when to update my blog.
but you need to understand, i'm not inspired everyday of my life... haha

"Here are some suggestions if you don't know what to write about:
Hippos
Socks
Things you don't like about your house
Disney Movies
Songs I That I Sing Well"

so i guess i'll get started on those...
hippos are cool. i just had to google image one to remind myself of what they look like... i think of hippos as manatees with legs. (and ears)
hippos are large. and so are their jaws. and they're slightly intimidating...
ha, i don't know what else to say.

socks. i hate them. they're so uncomfortable. i love being barefoot, except in the winter. so i guess sometimes they're convenient. but not really. people weren't meant to wear socks. haha, i really don't like them. they make me slip all over my house because we only have carpet in our bedrooms.
SEGWAY

my house. i love it. it's awesome
i don't like that my rug is red and my walls are green and blue... haha, i was an interesting child. we moved in when i was in 1st grade.. so maybe when i was 6? meaning we've been here for 9ish years. so my room was originally pink walls and red carpet. because we got to choose our own colors and that's just what i wanted. well eventually, i grew out of that color scheme phase and repainted. it's pretty cool looking actually... i have a few pictures where you can see the walls. anyways, yeah. my room is the only thing i don't really love about my house. but just the way it's set up.

I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES. they're my favorite. ever.
people that don't like disney movies are just really messed up. (sorry meg brockett.)
they're so adorable and have the best story lines and never get old.

ok, someone had a little typing difficulties...
"songs i that i sing well." but we all know that this means "songs that i sing well"
now, i don't know if kenneth wanted me to talk about myself, or him for this one... haha

so kenneth. i would imagine you sing anything in your range well. and you still have to do the never say never cover. because it sounds like you anyway.

but on a personal note, i'm not sure. i'm my toughest critic. and a lot of people don't think i'm a good singer... but that's their opinion. i've been singing since before i could talk. i've never had lessons. i just learned to mimic what people on the radio and cd's do. at the moment i'm loving the song brave by idina. and like you do by angel taylor. (i mentioned that before.)
obviously it's hard to be as good as others. and everyone's voice is different. so i
just wish people would give other people a break. it's all in what they like to sing.


so yeah, that was my kenneth-inspired blog for today... haha

moral of the story: kenneth is my best friend.

'cause nobody loves me like you do

congratulations MTV for making me love this song. i'd only heard the refrain from the top music video count down... yes i watch that... and i finally got it.
but it's not overplayed. and i really like how angel taylor's voice sounds (:

JAYSONNN DERUULOOOOOOO.
sorry. i like shuffle.

oh! what i really wanted to talk about was summer pops.
i love 4th and 5th and certain middle schoolers (:
and i love them all playing together and sounding decent (:
and i LOVE cumberland cross.
that has to be my favorite middle school piece.


simple plan songs make me feel sad.
but i like them.

'cause we lost it all
nothing lasts forever
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
now it's just too late
and we can't go back
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

another thing i wanted to talk about was how much my vocabulary has changed.
every year it's a new thing.
last year i said "and a half" after every adjective. it was really annoying.
and in 6th and 7th grade i typed really obnoxiously.
i was all for abbreviations. and other crazy stuff.
that was the age of AIM. AIM = Facebook of middle school-ish.


so i keep getting distracted while writing this. and i forgot that i was until kenneth just reminded me to update my blog.
so i'll just post it as is and we'll see how that goes...

haha, the endd.

moral of the story: i love music. and how much a language can change.

who am i kidding?

i'm not going to pretend anymore.

truthfully, i'm not a huge religious person.
i want to be, but i'm not.
and i'm working on it.
and hopefully wilderness camp will help me

i just read all of these blogs and hear all of these speakers.
and i genuinely want that.
but it'll take time.
and i'm sorry i didn't acknowledge that before

i just read my horoscope right now
and it said people were going to visit me tomorrow
and take me out for some "overdue fun"
i sure hope so (:


i've also been thinking about how different my life would be with two older sisters
today, my brothers and i played frisbee for 2 hours. it was awesome (: (or as we would say... diseased (: )
i love them a lot.
but sisters would be interesting
there would be clothes-sharing
and hair and makeup-doing.
and my house would be different.
and just everything really

so this has been a little bit better than me last post?
oh, and i would like to add that random formspring hate hasn't happened for like 2 days.
that's an improvement, right?
maybe people are affected(effected?) by this.

OH! speaking of!
if you have read this post, or any of my posts... can you let me know?
i'm just curious as to how many people read this.
thank you guys (: