i have to realize

and this is the part of life i like to call: oh hey, let's cram everything into one night.

technically i shouldn't even be writing this.
i have so much to do. but i don't want to.
i wish i was one of those kids that just takes school off when i need a day.
i'd miss too much.

i've been super inspired lately, but every time i write something here i realize it doesn't even apply to my life. and i guess i could make it into a story, but i don't have the time and energy to do that.

i've been listening to goodbye by kesha for like a week.
it's so incredible how this doesn't sound like how she currently does.
and how if she stayed making music like this she'd never get noticed. which is why our music industry sucks. all of the good music is shoved in a corner so that all of the hip-hop and pop artists can dance around the room. the poor corner artists...

i often say that i wish i was talented. but i should just come to terms with my abilities. i mean, i'm an okay singer. i'm an okay clarinet player. and i'm okay with being okay. i've never been the best at anything, so this is nothing new. obviously i'd like to have something to claim as mine. like "this is MY talent and i'm great at it and you should just be jealous of that." except not... because i wouldn't want anyone to do that.

today, my neighbor josh yelled at me for apologizing to much. he said something like "you're going to get mugged one day and apologize for not having more money to give."
that's so true. haha

also, i realized that i've been spelling yesterday and apologizing wrong my entire life. i always spelt yesterday as yestarday and apologizing as appologizing. this blew my mind.

moral of the story: i hate running out of eraser.