:/

ok, so before i signed in, blogger was being weird on me again saying that i couldn't sign in with my e-mail.
i started freaking out and was like "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T SIGN IN WITH MY E-MAIL?"
but it all worked out in the end.
and i forgive you blogger. we're still cool.

just so you know... don't read this if you like to hate on me. i get frustrated with myself easily and if you don't think you'd understand that, just exit out. because this will seem ridiculous.
so anyway, what i wanted to write about was being totally shaken up today.
(at first i wrote shooken. that's not a word, in case you were wondering.)
well, i went for a run. i'm not a runner. but i have been running pretty much everyday for the past few weeks. and i've been adding on more and more each day. well today, while i was running, i go back to square one. and didn't add on. i was very frustrated with myself, so the rest of the run was just me being discouraged.

and then, i got home. and was looking forward to sitting down and eating dinner by myself. but my dad was at the table.
here's how that went down.
"how'd it go?"
"not good."
"how many did you go around?"
"not enough."
"you have to push yourself."
and here's where i, for the first time in my life, actually spoke to my dad in a manner that wasn't pleasant.
"i did. you don't even understand."

and that's where we both stopped talking.
and my hands were shaking.

that's one thing that i just can't hear people tell me.
"you didn't try."
i can't stand to hear because i know most of the time it's true.
but i did try tonight. i just am not the best i've been.

moral of the story: i'm too hard on myself most of the time. but it usually gets me motivated enough. anyone have any motivational tips? i'd like to see them