who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?

i need to allow myself to just break down and get rid of all the sadness i have locked up.
i don't need it anymore. and i don't like having it there.
a lot of things have been going right in my life, and i don't need this locked up sadness about nothing there to drag me down.

i wish i could just make myself cry... but it doesn't happen like that (regardless of the popular belief.) crying doesn't come easily to me and i don't enjoy doing it.
in order for me to cry, there has to be a legitimate reason then and there.

i don't know why i've put on a front to hide my feelings.
i guess i just was never really sure who'd be there to help me... after i've helped so many people.

you know what's funny?
i give advice to people about experiences i haven't even had.
i don't know how i know what to say. they love listening to me though.
those words can't be mine... i don't know what i'm talking about half of the time.
i like being the person that my friends can count on.
i like being there for them... even if they don't want me to be.


i need to have a day where i can just cry out all the bad things and start fresh.
that would be really nice.