I LIKE CAPITALS?

one fine monday morning, abby was sitting at her kitchen counter...

then it happened.

"what happened?" you may be thiinking..

well. i'm not telling you.
this is a mystery.
hold on your.. helmet as you discover the mystery of the missing abby.
(AND THE DISCOVERY OF CAPITALS.)

at precisely 1000, a silver boxy gangster car pulled out of the driveway.

(except it wasn't even really precisely. that's a lie. it was more like, "WAIT. TURN AROUND. I FORGOT MY CELLPHONE." "DANG APPLES. I NEED THE CHIPS." etc.)

and it turned down the street. where did this car go?

good question.

abby was enjoying a nice cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese when she heard an engine pull up. "GOLLY GEE," she exclaimed, and ran outside in her purple shirt (and regular not purple pants. pants are a very important part of life. in our generation, you will not be reprehended for not wearing pants though. there's this new fashion where you wear leggings, and then it's alright if you walk around with a lack of pants. oh life.) and asked, "WHO ARE YOU STRANGER? WHY DID YOU COME HITHER? I DON'T BELIEVE THAT I MADE THIS STRUMPET REQUEST AT YOU." well, it wasn't really asking. technically it was, but she was frantically shouting it, so it counts, but not really.

a ninja jumped out of the car, and said,
"abby. don't judge.
"or i'll kill you.
no joke, yo."

"no way, jose," abby replied. "you are a liar butt, giraffe eared, donkey nosed, turdy face. you couldn't kill me if you tried."

"yes, yes i am," shot back the stranger,

without missing a beat.

"and i accept myself. so it's okay. but i could kill you.i killed your first pet.. beaver."

"I NEVER HAD A PET BEAVER. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LIAR?"

"YOU KNOW WHY."

abby was astounded. this stranger was sassafras. they were sassy, and they were frassy. epic win. like odysseus. odysseus from the odyssey. you know, big thigh muscles, and the extreme shoulder muscles that allow him to throw javelins really far? yeah him. abby wished that she was able to throw javelins really far. she had wished for this every single year for CHRISTMAS (YAY CHRISTMAS. IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.) but unfortunately, santa never dropped off extreme shoulder muscles for her, so when she noticed this epic win, abby broke down in tears, and dropped to her kneees, screaming,
"WHY SANTA? WHYYY? IF YOU REPLY 'YOU KNOW WHY,' I WILL STEAL EMO SPOON AND CUT MYSELF."

word to the wise.basically, you will only know who emo spoon is if you're wise. and if you don't remember, then you fail at life and that's why you have no friends.

so anyway. the stranger was very confused because she was all, "wait. emo spoon? how would you even steal that? that's locked away in my closet."

SUDDEN REALIZATION STRUCK.
"oh crap," was all abby heard and then there was a POOF and the stranger was gone.

the end.
guess who?
(: