i realized that i kind of took a vacation from decent blogs..

and this is the part of life i like to call: apologizing (:

sorry guys. i think it's because i write better blogs when i'm NOT happy. which is a bad thing, but so true.

and currently, i'm very happy!

so there's nothing really making me need to express anything otherwise.

i think it's because i have no stress yet.

maybe by saturday i'll realize that i need to read an entire book.

that'll inspire me...

haha

so for now, you get short and happy blogs

later you'll get long and stressed blogs.

sound like a plan?

(:

moral of the story: don't worry; be happy

why is Tron's soundtrack number 1 on itunes?

the little things in life that don't make sense...

along with my deep metaphor of corner artists.

remember that one?

yeah (:

i',m having a christmas party tomorrow

sorry if you weren't invited

it's a small thing

it's time for bed

to bed i said

...yeah

why must we wait in the dark?

the day after christmas always feels so empty.

like all of the excitement is gone.

but really, christmas is 12 days long.

so it's not even over yet.

not even close.

the wise men still need to get to the manger

the priest at my church today wasn't my normal priest.

and in his homily he used a lot of transition phrases.

that's seriously all i got from it (or all i remember...)

i mean, it must be hard for priests to write different homilies for masses they've said so many times.

i guess i'll tell you what i got for christmas...

a shirt scarf and mittens from pacsun, an ipod dock, perfume, beauty and the beast on dvd!, the little rascals, itunes money, an AWESOME tie dye hoodie, a bath set with like soap and stuff, a curling iron, a necklace, a bathrobe, and mario kart

so, thank you santa/family. i love everything (:

i hope you all had a fantastic christmas as well

it never takes too long...

i have often dreamed

of a far off place

where a great warm welcome would be waiting for me

where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face

and the voice keeps saying

"this is where i'm meant to be."

and this is the part of life i like to call: impatient.

so christmas is in two days!

and i finished getting all of presents all together and stuff.

i just have to wrap them tomorrow

and then try to sleep a little bit!

also, i'd just like to say that i saw a post that said

"i love Jesus. he was born and i get presents, he died and i get chocolate."

okay, really?

so so very unnecessary.

people are so ignorant.

moral of the story: what's the dealio?

this is the moment

and this is the part of life i like to call: christmas vacation!

so it hasn't even started yet..

but i have so much energy right now

and i'm like super excited for christmas.

because i just went and bought stocking stuffers for my mom.

so i was basically santa.

want to know the terrible part?

(it was her money...)

like, something's wrong here.

ANYWAY, the only class that i'm actually going to still do stuff in in geometry. because he hates children and life. and strives to be scrooge.

also, i have christmas cookies sitting on my desk.

and snow on my lawn.

and i love this time of year ♥

basically three free mods in a row tomorrow.

i be loving it, i be, i be loving it

moral of the story: they tried to make me go to rehab i won't go go go

2 things

december 8th was my one year anniversary with this blog (:

i forgot to celebrate that...

so, yay me for being committed!

also, november has 30 days.

last month i wrote 31 posts.

totally over achieved.

haha, goodnight everybody

we just write and play and write and play and...

and this is the part of life i like to call: already knowing when a weekend is going to be stressful on tuesday.

i was aware of everything that i had to do so right now i'm just like "ehh, whatever.."

you know that feeling when you have something to say and you're super excited about it but when you go to say it it just disappears from your mind?

feeling that. right now.

so about the title; it's a meg and dia song. like, that's obvious at this point.

also, by "play" i'm totally talking about playing music. because that's what this weekend will consist of: writing and playing music.

on friday we were assigned a super secret project in english.

we could work by ourselves, in pairs, or in groups of three.

i chose to work by myself to avoid having people feel sorry for not having room in their group for me.

i work better on my own anyway.

but as i was sitting in class working on this project and i saw who was working where the first thing i wrote on my paper was "typical."

let me tell you something about level four english classes.

there are a lot of different kinds of people in there. there's the people who are complete over-achievers, there's the achievers, and then there's the people who don't really belong in the class but i guess they just wanted all the extra work.

but anyway, the groups that our class forms are always the same. i try to be in a different one occasionally because i would get tired of working with the same people. but that's just me.

it's nothing personal, i just work better with different groups of people.

i also like to have a different role in different groups of people. sometimes i become a leader if i notice a lack of leadership. sometimes i'll just follow along in the background. most of the time i'm in the middle and try my best to keep everything under control.

but who wants to read a blog about how english classes work?

basically in the course of 48 hours i'll be presenting an economics project. i'm not even done my portfolio. i'm going to finish that part tonight.

tomorrow i'll be working entirely on the presentation and then in the mere hours i'll have left i'll write another lousy english paper.

my research paper better kick some butt.

moral of the story: and i'm feeling good.

i'm bored of your random all over the place attitude

and this is the part of life i like to call: actually formatting a blog for once.

this is going to be a combination of things i said i would continue to do but haven't...

so, anonymous shout-outs!

1.when i'm on the bus, all i want to do is listen to music and not communicate with people at all... you make this very difficult. especially in the morning. i just don't want to deal with that. and i just want to relax. also, sometimes you're overly nice and it turns a little obnoxious. like, you're overly friendly. usually this wouldn't be a problem, because i like friendly people, but i kind of find you annoying sometimes. sorry.

2. even mentioning this is against the rules, but so many people i know are following me on tumblr. it's annoying. when did they even get tumblrs? i'm so confused. this website used to be really secure and private and stuff. now it's like "hey, this is becoming facebook!" not cool.

3. so basically, this one's for multiple people.
how about we listen to what people are asking so that we don't ask the same question 5 times in one mod? i know we all love the class and want to be there but let's make it less ridiculous for the people that actually want to hear what the teacher is saying? thanks.

4. sometimes the things that you say really do bother me. and maybe it's because i don't have as big of a self-esteem as you. or maybe it's because i'm constantly getting attacked by you and can't defend myself. but it's just starting to hurt lately. and i don't appreciate it. even though i know that you're kidding.

so four's good.
also, for my benefit, i need to write what needs to get accomplished eventually.
- portfolio for economics.
- start omam paper
- take a shower
- possibly straighten my hair?
- make sure my alarm works.
- do bio lab.
- go christmas shopping/get candy canes for everyone.
- go to megan's game
- finish economics project
- finish paper

no big deal.

Did you think about what I said last night?
Knowing you, you probably didn't.
I could picture your face on the other side.
Completely oblivious.
Do you really feel like this love is real?
I wish I could join you.

I'm bored of your love
I'm bored of your face
I'm bored of your random all
over the place attitude
I'm bored of you

So, I thought about what you said last night
Normally I probably wouldn't
But something you said kept me up all night
I tried to sleep but I just couldn't
I hope you still feel like
this love is for real
'Cause I know that I do

I'm in love with your love
In love with your face
In love with almost everything that you say
Yes it's true
I'm in love with you

so yeah, this has been good.
moral of the story: just getting back to normal stuff.

10 days (:

this also means that i have approximately zero time to finish my economics project and do an english paper, but yaknow, it's christmas time!

i'm hungry.
ANYWAY.
it's freezing. i'm soo cold. all the time. (let's flashback to like my third post ever... hahahahahahaha)

i need to write a response paper.
i need something to write about...
i guess i could write about how i always write papers on what essays were on tests.
but maybe not.

elsewhere is such a good book.

"But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. And that's life, isn't it?"

Elsewhere

i love this book so much.

it's pretty much ridiculous.

i NEED to read it again

but i don't have time.

so basically i need to write a 4 page paper and do a huge economics project in the course of this week.

i'm NOT doing it all on sunday.

now that that's in writing...

so yeah, just thought i'd let you all know.

12 days (:

i'm a mess.

basically, i don't even know...
so it's saturday night.
and i'm home alone.
and i was watching movies and all i wanted was someone to be there watching them with me.
like, story of my life.
(except not?)
i'm just always alone...
and i'm always in this aloof state. (use of vocab.+5?)
i don't know.
sorry for the wasted blogs.

just wanted to say...

not everything i write has this huge deep meaning behind it.

don't read into what i say more than what's there...

it's just one of those nights...

and this is the part of life i like to call: i guess...

like, i seriously think i'm bipolar sometimes.

people might find this hard to believe, but i'm not always happy.

in fact, i'm probably more sad than happy on a regular basis.

mcms concert bands were tonight.

i was fine. and then the one that i play clarinet in started.

and i found myself sinking into this state of confusion.

i don't even know.

i guess i just need a little christmas.

it's like my family doesn't know that it's 16 days away.

our house doesn't get decorated until the 18th. if we're lucky. or maybe the 15...

my mom told me she hasn't gone christmas shopping yet.

i think we're all out of sync.

also, i'm hungry.

and i have to write a response paper!

moral of the story: i don't even know why i'm not happy... it's not like anything is making me sad right now...

meg and dia ♥

When I was younger, I wish that I would have known better.
Better love makes a fat romance, that lasts for more than a shoe shine.
I’m older, took all the words of my mother, saying,
"It could be worse, could be born with that disease, instead of catching it first."

So let’s go back, to the first time, that I met you, in your Chevy, with your hands stretched, and me crying, screaming, “Mercy, Mercy!”
But I know that, I was put here, to fight Vikings, in the cold war, with my arms out, in the front lines, singing, “Dare me. Dare me.”

But these things take time love.
These things take backbone.
And they’ll tell you what you want to hear ’cause they think it’s better. Better.
But you better know how to point out the liars.
You’ve got to weigh your wars make sure you’re not fighting for nothing. Nothing.
Are you fighting for nothing, nothing?

It feels like this world has been growing slowly upside down.
Maybe I should move to China, and straighten this mess out.
Maybe I’ll be a poet.
Watch all the sky for falling words.
And write about my grandma’s curtains, or the lady who put the Chinese buffet in her purse.
I’ve got my mouth. It’s a weapon.
It’s a bombshell. It’s a cannon.
I’ve got my words.
I won’t give them mercy, mercy!

But these things take time love.
These things take backbone.
And they’ll tell you what they want to hear ’cause they think it’s better. Better.
But you better know how to point out the liars.
You’ve got to weigh your wars make sure you’re not fighting for nothing. Nothing.
Are you fighting for nothing, nothing?

I’ve got my words. I hope they hurt you.
I hope they scar you. I hope they heal you.
I hope they cut you open,
Make you see you’ve been warring for all the wrong reasons.
Make you see that some things are worth bruising for.
Make you see that your name is your honor code.
Make you see that your hands you’re accounted for.
Pick and choose where your sweat and your blood will go.
Make you see your life’s not to be lived alone.
Run their spit through your hair, you’re worth nothing. Nothing.

But these things take time love.
These things take backbone.
And they’ll tell you what you want to hear ’cause they think it’s better. Better.
But you better know how to point out the liars.
You’ve got to weigh your wars make sure you’re not fighting for nothing. Nothing.
But these things take time love.
These things take backbone.
And they’ll tell you what you want to hear ’cause they think it’s better. Better.
But you better know how to point out the liars.
You’ve got to weigh your wars make sure you’re not fighting for nothing. Nothing.

Are you fighting for nothing, nothing?

♥

all the colors of the rainbow

hidden 'neath my skin

hearts have colors don't we all know

red runs through our veins.

feel the fire burning

up, inspire me with blood of blue and green

i have hope

inside is not a heart,

but a kaleidoscope.

and this is the part of life i like to call: short blogs ):

so anyway, the play was today

and they forgot to turn my mic on for my solos back stage. until the last one.

which was my favorite one.. so i guess it's ok.

but that means there were awkward silences in songs.

and now i need to do bio homework and start a paper. both of which are due tuesday. so i have tomorrow as well.

i'm just trying to bring the stress level down a little.

moral of the story: i feel bad when i don't write a lot... i don't know why.

i know the chance that i'm taking

"In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, not because I want to believe it's true, but because you'll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did; you'll never find a girl who will care as much as I did, because no one will waste all their love on someone like you, like I did. "

i posted this in october. with my huge quotes post.

i don't know how i do these things to myself...

all of the drama that i've ever had in my life, i definitely just made it worse than it was.

i'm disgusted with how fake i can be.

i'm also in a really terrible mood, randomly.

also, current obsession: meg and dia.

people who are nice don't bring up how nice they are... just saying