and i know i know you're in love with me and i've been ignoring you.

...and i will be alone for probably the rest of my life.

everything's been the front bottoms and legs like tree trunks recently. and i'm okay with it.
i'm not okay though. not even a little. i'm just really good at pretending to be.
but my mom noticed the other day... "you've seemed really sad lately abby."
not a question, a statement.
maybe it's seasonal. but i doubt it.

it's just so hard to wake up every day and know that i'm not doing anything right.
it's hard. everything is.

i don't know how much longer i can keep up this act.