ain't got the patience for the pain

so the weekend starts and guess what? i come home to an empty house and am by myself and instantly that puts me in one of these think-y moods. and these are the times when i just completely hate most things about myself.

and they're always the same things. things i need to change.

these are the times when i wish i had someone who could read my mind and tell me things that they like about me.

in these moods i need some sort of reassurance. just to be in a better mood.

and then i get mad at myself for complaining about myself. i feel selfish.

i think of the people who have it much worse.

and then i really that i have almost nothing to complain about.

and like, being alone and trapped in my thoughts isn't always a bad thing. i just need to release all of these thoughts somewhere. but i don't really want them out there for the world to see... haha

maybe i'll just talk to myself. once they are in the air, they'll stay there and not float back into my head. at least that's what happens when i have a song stuck in my head. belt it out and then it's gone.