i need a hug.

i also need to sleep.

and i need to relax

but before i can do that, i need to finish this poster/presentation and fix my research paper. and then print out two more drafts of that.

i can't handle school right now.

it's alright yeah i'll be fine

don't worry 'bout this heart of mine just take your love and hit the road.

'cause nothing you can do is say is gonna break my heart anyway,

just leave the pieces when you go.

i feel kind of snobby every time i say "world language honor society."

i haven't even been inducted yet. but every time i throw that phrase out there people are just like "oh."

and i don't like when people think i'm the smartest person ever because that's so not true.

tonight i have to do my entire debate stuff. and i have no idea what side i'm on. and this is going to take forever.

i'm also not writing a response paper... because there's no time. so that means i have like 1 miss day left. which SUCKSSS.

i guess i won't write 10 this semester. whatever.

so tired. and so done with everything.

also, i have a research paper draft due tomorrow and a world history project. no big deal.

"a big glob of jelly just fell on my lap..."

"AGAIN!"

denise. i love youuu ♥

i bought new markers (:

they're crayola and they're beautiful and they're made of recycled plastic. hahahaa

so tonight i have to do a bio timeline. and then maybe start my world history project. and then maybe start editing my research paper...

but i have to go snhu band... and i'd rather not.

ain't got the patience for the pain

so the weekend starts and guess what? i come home to an empty house and am by myself and instantly that puts me in one of these think-y moods. and these are the times when i just completely hate most things about myself.

and they're always the same things. things i need to change.

these are the times when i wish i had someone who could read my mind and tell me things that they like about me.

in these moods i need some sort of reassurance. just to be in a better mood.

and then i get mad at myself for complaining about myself. i feel selfish.

i think of the people who have it much worse.

and then i really that i have almost nothing to complain about.

and like, being alone and trapped in my thoughts isn't always a bad thing. i just need to release all of these thoughts somewhere. but i don't really want them out there for the world to see... haha

maybe i'll just talk to myself. once they are in the air, they'll stay there and not float back into my head. at least that's what happens when i have a song stuck in my head. belt it out and then it's gone.

i need to sleep

and i need to burn this CD of appropriate skating music.

i also need to take a shower... but yaknow...

my letter of intent is okay. i think i meet all of the requirements. so i should be okay. if i don't get in i need to have a reason... it would be because my paper is not really that great... but i'm not rewriting a paper. sorry. not worth it.

i think i'll be fine? ehh, whatever.

all i can think of is that tomorrow is friday. so that means singing "friday" over and over again. typical abby.

also, christine is coming monday! super excited!

we're getting our research papers back tomorrow... i'm NOT looking forward to that. my paper was totally not up to par. what else is new?

i got really annoyed in band today...

i don't know why.

i think it was that i'm finally realizing things. things that people won't necessarily agree with.

therefore i'm not going to write said things. i'm just going to leave you all guessing.

i'm chaka khan and i'm every woman

like why is this song stuck in my head? hahahaha, oh man.

ok, so i only have french homework? whyy?

why couldn't we answer the questions while watching the movie?

gahh.

i hope we watch a movie in world history so that 4 of my classes will be watching movies this week. yeahhh!

also, in a week christine is shadowing me! yay! we we we we so excited!

Que fait-il avec ce qu'il a dans sa valise?

what? i don't know...

gahh

i can't wait to take french 4 level 4 and get the credit for the same amount of work...

oh boy. i'm pathetic.

also, i still haven't made my decision..

and i told myself i would by this weekend.

i guess tomorrow is the day... because then it's a week from tomorrow.

also, i have no idea of what to turn in. i've gotten B's on all of my papers...

i think i'll do the Scarlet Letter one and fix it a bit.

i'm really surprised over what i just did.

so i haven't gone on a run for 5 months.

and i actually pulled off like a mile and a half.

i remember when i couldn't run a mile. so much progress!

my goal is to be down to like 8 minutes by field hockey.

it can totally happen.

yay! good day!

sitting in the front seat, chilling in the back seat

i got this, you got this, my friend is on my right.
i got this you got this, I DON'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT THE PERSON TO MY LEFT.
what? i don't understand...
but this song has been stuck in my head all day. i've sang it out loud. people judged me... nbd

i broke out the flip flops today. not at school... but at the wilderness camp meeting!
i was a little self-conscious because i didn't end up painting my toes last night... haha
today was so warm and beautiful and i just wanted to go outside all the time!

only french homework tonight?

danggg. i like watching movies in three calsses in a day.

yay having bio and world history and french.

health too tomorrow. ay dios.

why am i so easily annoyed? that doesn't even make sense...

i need to make a decision. i need it to be the 28th so christine can shadow me.

and i need to paint my toenails because tomorrow may be the first flip flop day of the year.

truth is

half the time you annoy me to the point of frustration.

but the other half of the time you're my best friend...

and i love everything about the second half of you.

but sometimes you just... ugh.

response papers...

so it's like 10 o'clock. and i formatted a response paper. the title is "not responding on responding" because i do that everytime. she's probs sick of it.

but i had absolutely nothing to say for three pages.

so i didn't write one. again.

i've written two. and it's been like 6 or 7 weeks?

so that means for 4 or 5 weeks i haven't written anything.

which means that i only have 3 or 2 more weeks left to not write.

wednesdays are just hard for me because of mcms and stuff...

and now i'm just making excuses... because i totally had no other homework...

also, debate between british authors and amstud? i'm leaning towards amstud. but by saturday i might change my mind.

it's not an easy thing yaknow... this is class is going to be my main focus for next year so i need to choose wisely.

amstud vs. british authors.

okay, so i can't make a decision.

and i need help.

if i take amstud, i'll be away from people who bother me for the most part.

it'll be super hard. and i'm not good at history...

but ms. mac and mr. silvera are good teachers. and the class looks fun.

british author's would be good too...

less work. more friends. also more annoying people...

mrs. pennington seems enthusiastic... but not like a good teacher.

it's between learning or easiness.

i don't know what to do.

& God only knows what we're fighting for.

i can't give you what you think you gave me

it's time to say goodbye

to turning tables

hi, how's it going?

this weekend i hung out with my only two friends. and almost died from megan basically decapitating me with a lacrosse ball. luckily i had awesome reflexes and ducked just in time.

also, i just rocked at goal, not to brag or anything... haha

but seriously, we played really well. it was great. i needed that.

i've failed both of my lenten things. i'm starting over tomorrow. no facebook.

no red meat. like, seriously. it's an impossible thought in my house. my dad's like "no way man."

also, since we got our progress reports he's like "abby, your grades are scholarship material. and we could use all of the scholarships we can get..." awesome. no pressure.

as of now my top colleges are Keene state, UMaine and UNH. maybe SNHU too... but then i'd just stay home and not even meet anyone...

i'm mainly between Keene and UM though.

i don't have to worry about this yet...

amstud or british author's?

probs amstud... even though i'll die.

maybe every other class will just be easy? ha, funny joke.

so anyway... that's basically what went on this weekend. oh. and the mcms concert. that went well...

slap that tummy fish was better than any of the pieces we actually played...

oh dear. haha

it's all good. i sounded good... haha

okay. shower time. i smell. BYEEE

haha count?: 4. wow.

almost there.

page 9. and in the clear. even if i don't get a full ten pages i can say that i honestly put all of my information in the paper. it only took me going on 7 hours... maybe another 1.5 for my annotated bibliography and stuff...

i thought i'd fill you guys in...

i'm on page 5. half-way there. we can do this!

ready? write a 12 page paper. go!

i suck. i'm a terrible person. i'm a terrible student. gaahhh.
yes, i'm aware that i have to write 11 more pages tonight and tomorrow night.
i'm aware that i've had 2 weeks+ to do this.
and i'm aware of anything you want to tell me.
that's all i have to say about that.

and i try too hard.

okay, so basically i try so hard in bio. and i cannot get an A. no matter what. so i guess i'll just deal with that.

meanwhile, i did all of my homework that needs to be accomplished tonight.

i HAVE TO write maybe 4 more pages of my rough draft. that way i don't die thursday.

today was long. i don't understand the point of this festival. we know that we're loud. we know that our intonation was bad. did the judge even make any other comments? no. i don't it.

it's not like we get awarded. it's kind of like a dress rehearsal? i don't know.

after such a good day yestarday it's just going to be hard to top it.

so many hair compliments today. i only get hair compliments when i curl my hair... hmmm...

also, i'm watching glee instead of writing my paper. they're singing landslide. like, copy-cats? hahaa. i hate television. i also hate the internet. i'm never going to get anything accomplished. my rough draft is going to suck.

lent starts tomorrow.

no red meat for 40 days. do-able.

no facebook on weekdays for 40 days. challenge.

talk about good days!

okay, so the morning went fast

and then we get to english

so i watched one group present and then i was called down to see mr. rist.

don't worry, i'm not in trouble. (: my friend christine is going to central next year! and she's shadowing me! yay!

and then we presented. i think we did fine...

so then mod e was fast.

so mods f and g were the best of the day. that never happens.

I HAVE AN A IN GEOMETRY. what? that NEVER happens!

and then in french madame handed me a piece of paper.

so basically i got into national world language honor society. yay! (: (: (:

such a good day. so strange.

and then tomorrow i just have to go to health. that's my entire day. like, what? haha love it!

okay! yeah!

smiley face count: 4

opp, behind on my quota.

so it's march 6th and i only have five posts this month!

today i started thinking about what to do for lent.

i think i'm going to give up red meat and maybe only go on the computer on the weekends...

that means i won't be able to write blog posts. unless i have a paper to write and i cheat.

we'll see how it works.

i have that whole five hours of bio to do again... it's due tuesday but i have snhu band tomorrow night. and field hockey tonight.

yeah, field hockey again. yay? i don't know. i'm tired. haha

also, we're presenting tomorrow... that'll be interesting.

mellow yellow.

i just watched probably the most powerful video i have ever seen.

it was the results of a drunk driving accident.

i actually cried.

(is anyone really surprised?)

that was kind of a very mellowing moment because today was so much fun.

i went skiing and tubing for 6 hours. no big deal.

it was super fun!

plans for tomorrow:

not being sore

cleaning up my room a little

going to church

writing some of my rough draft

field hockey game

^not sucking.

other homework items. like bio. oh right...

just sometimes, i don't know. i don't know what's going on.

i have out of body experiences all the time like "why do we do all of the things that we do?"

"what if someone is just watching us all live our lives and laughing at how dumb we look?"

"what if this is all just a dream?" (inception...)

this only really happens during the three concert bands that i'm in and i just zone out and play music. i don't know why...

i like your everything. it's annoying. stop it. (:

whooot!

i love doing entire projects in one night.

i love how i always give myself the hardest job because i like things done my way...

merrrrp.

totally pulled this off in an hour.

i love myself sometimes.

(:

i guess i have to straighten my hair tomorrow...

ugh, haircuts are stressful.

haha, just kidding

i just don't want to wake up that extra fifteen minutes earlier.

that sentence made no sense. nonsense.

an observation

it's funny that the smartest people in my grade text so obnoxiously.

like, so many abbreviations and whatnot.

i mean, i used to type obnoxiously in 6th and 7th grade. i thought i was cool.

if you still think i type obnxiously... sorry.

sorry if not capitalizing things is atrocious.

i just don't like going that extra mile to press shift to start a sentence...

oh, so i love when i volunteer to do the bulk of work.

but i really do.

it's because i like things done my way... i'm selfish when it comes to group projects.

haha

so yeahh... making very proper people sound ghetto. it's cool.

also, having no time to get together to do this.

no big deal or anything

i also have to write a response paper because i won't do it tomorrow

and my rough draft... yeah... about that....

this might get a little crazy.