my pal foot foot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN9UT2zF8c8
this song. it's too intense.
you really need to clear your mind.
and then forget everything you know about music.
and then listen to it.

we have an anonymous formspringer to thank for this.
and the pain it's caused my brain.

you are the only exception

and this is the part of life i like to call: procrastinating... like usual.

everyone in my household is exhausted beyond compare. my dad is working like 60 hour weeks.
i have so much to do still.
i really am not digging this whole homework thing.

i also don't enjoy having 2 hours of bio homework every night.
coloring should just be an option. we shouldn't have to do it.
"some people are right side learners. so people are left side. we have to do both."
no. you're insane. stop talking.

also, what's up with having packets to read from?
we really don't have books?
gahh.

why is money an issue.
these are text books.
for education.
they should be free.

i'm running out of things to say to procrastinate.

moral of the story: love never lasts.

maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gunna be my year?

and this is the part of life i like to call: a serious case of the monday's.

honestly.
today was the worst day i've had in a few months.
people just need to leave me alone in these situations because i will verbally attack them.

it's not my day.
and i'd rather not talk about it.
just wanted to press keys on the keyboard angrily.

moral of the story: you suck.

it's my turn to be brave

and this is the part of life i like to call: more paper writing.

111. does that make this good luck?

anyway, we have to write a biography.
i don't really like assignments like this.
i mean, i don't know who i am.
i don't know my habits yet.
i just know that my name is abby and i don't know where i'm going or how i'm going to get there, but i'm enjoying the ride.

i wish i could just print all of my blogs up and hand that in.
how's this ms. sears?
is this what you wanted?
this is how i really am.
this is who i really am.
this is the type of writing i enjoy.

it's never that simple.

today we had a meeting at play practice.
basically, it was a little youth group.
i miss youth group.
going back wouldn't be a good decision though, for reasons i can't explain.


"Before i formed you in the womb i knew you,
before you were born i dedicated you,
a prophet to the nations i appointed you."
"...Say not 'I am too young.'"
"...Have no fear before them, because i am with you to deliver you, says the Lord." Jeremiah. chapter 1.

that was our little meeting in a nutshell.
being young doesn't mean you are incapable of greatness.
and don't be afraid because the Lord is there. always.

what else can i talk about...
oh. ok.
Sometimes you just have to hold your head
up high blink away the tears and say goodbye.
so he has a girl friend. which is a good thing.
that way, there will be no getting played.
that way, i won't fall again because there's nothing to fall for.
every conversation we have is just eating me.
obviously he was thinking about me if he wanted to talk to me.
but i had completely forgotten about him.
this was a step in the right direction.
thanks for coming in just as i was walking out.
...i hate this.

and someone on formspring told me that they also start to like people in dreams.
i'm glad i'm not alone.
"and when he's not around, there's something missing in her smile."
that speaks for itself.


...just remember, life goes on.
tomorrow is a new day.

moral of the story: this is my longest blog in a long time.

sorry for breaking my format

you chose the wrong night to try to get back in my life.
honestly, why do you even do this?
i can't talk to you... you know that.
i'd get my hopes up and you'd break me down.
not again.
i'm standing my ground.

I spent a lot of time searching for reasons, for answers. But you can't find what’s not there.

and this is the part of life i like to call: upon request.

what does anyone like about the person they like?
is it the way they look at you?
the way they make you feel?
do they understand you?
do they make you happy?

for me, it all started in a dream.
and that sounds so weird.
but that's how it happened.
so i'm hesitant to tell people because i don't know if i actually like him.
it may just be my subconscious making scenarios up that i like.
this happens to me a lot.
that's why i never really know how i feel about certain people.

anyway, after i had this dream, i started to read into things more.

and then there are days where i just don't know.
these days are occurring more and more recently.

thanks for your curiosity i guess?

moral of the story: i just don't know sometimes.

and this is the part of life i like to call: not caring.

and in this crazy life,
and through these crazy times,
it's you it's you
you make me sing.
you're every line
you're every word
you're everything.

i've used this before. sorry for lyric repetition.

i need to do homework.
but i just don't care anymore.
i started off the year really well
and did what i needed to.

guess what.
i just sat here for half an hour longer on facebook and etc.
and forgot i was blogging,
and also forgot to do homework.
alright!

teach me how to dougie, teach me teach me how to dougie.

uhhuh.
yeah
alright,
yup.

moral of the story: don't procrastinate boys and girls.

oh em gees guys

and this is the part of life i like to call: laid back.

so i have to write a response paper.
and that's basically a blog related to english class (:
i can so do this in 10 minutes!

i try to have a content attitude about everything school.
i'm trying to stay cool and collective and not stress a lot this year.
so far so good (:
i'm also trying to calm other stressed people down.
it's not worth all this trouble.
everything works out in the end.

moral of the story: not stressed right now.

pretty girl, what are you crying for?

and this is the part of life i like to call: stupid decisions.

so i made a totally stupid decision.
let me tell you, my least favorite thing ever is taking tests.
i stress out and can't stop moving
and shaking. my pencil usually taps.
like, every time.
i think this started last year before every civics test. because i always failed.
so, we had to option in econ to pass in our test and get 10 points or take it again tomorrow.
i wasn't thinking straight.
i decided to take it tomorrow.
why? i don't even know.
so now i get to stress all over again for a different test.
and hope that i get like 100% on this.
or it won't even be worth it.

i'm starting to tumble more. is that the right adjective?
i don't know. if you want that link, it's http://absolutelyxabby.tumblr.com/
so check that out. almost everyday.

our game went great today. 2-0 is our best score so far... so i'm proud of that.
we came so close to scoring. it's starting to get ridiculous. we're definitely scoring next game or i will kick a ball all the way to the other goal. honestly. (:

i need to study for this test that i shouldn't even have to take.
i also have science homework.
because ms. nault is insane.
that's always going to be my reasoning with bio homework. just because she's insane
but she likes jack johnson... so she can't be too bad (:

moral of the story: totally better ace this test.

awww yeahh.

and this is the part of life i like to call: being completely random...

"Sometimes I wish you would actually try
talking to me again."
and sometimes i know what i totally made the right decision.

"I will always love you, and as long as there
are stars above you, you never need to doubt it.
I'll make you so sure about it; God knows what I'd
be without you."
...yeah

these aren't my quotes... that's why i put quotes around them.

and they're also about two different people.
call me superstitious, but i just don't want to say names. because random people read this at random times.

"You will show me the path to life, abounding joy in your presence,
the delights at your right hand forever." Psalm 16:11.

moral of the story: this is random. and unnecessary. haha, sorry guys.

i don't know just where i'm going.

and this is the part of life i like to call: first english project.

i understand that people are stressing out about this more than i am.
i also understand that everyone in my group are super over-achievers.
but i don't understand why this project has to be ridiculously overdone.

i also don't appreciate being cornered everyday and being shutdown.
i'll say something and someone will totally just argue the opposite point.and they'll be right.

i have my own opinions. please respect that. i also can't defend myself and use words well. so please stop using my disadvantage to your advantage.

and then i'm alone. and i don't know what to think anymore.
i don't know who i am and what i like.
i don't know who's going to always be there for me.
i don't know.

moral of the story: totally confused. about everything

fall is my favorite

and this is the part of life i like to call: not knowing what to do.

voices by saosin. check it out. loving them. well, new them. the them that doesn't scream all the time... haha

i feel like if someone looked at me and i said i listen to saosin they'd totally judge me. i don't understand why music preference has to be expressed through how you act/dress.

i listen to a bunch of everything.

also, i'm in a really thinky/confused mood. i hate this mood.
i can't be around myself for long periods of time...

moral of the story: i cut this short because i realized i had a bunch of stuff to do.

"feature me in your blog!"

and this is the part of life i like to call: a good day

oh denise. you are so wonderful. i appreciate you (:
even though i've "featured" you in about 3 other blogs... no big deal

One day you will find the right words and they will be simple.
For now, words are gone and it makes it complicated.

this is the story of my life.

and yeah. i thought i'd let you know.

my bus rides were super fun today (: and i liked it.

happy birthday adam!

moral of the story: tracey's standing right next to me? i'm having issues typing. and we have a game in about an hour. yayyyy (:

smiley face count: 3

disregard...

and this is the part of life i like to call: ranting

disclaimer: this is going to be completely a rant about field hockey.
so if you don't care, don't read it.

ok, so basically, we've been a team for maybe 3 weeks. we've played two games. we lost both of these games.
what i CANNOT STAND is people on the team saying "we suck. oh my god, why do people even play." seriously. we're a team. we're in this together. we win together and we lose together.
also, everyone needs to own up.
i'm the goalie. if a goal is scored it's my fault. and i take responsibility for that. but, i've only been a goalie for three weeks.
people have only been playing offense for 3 weeks.
and some people are just new to the sport in general.

start taking ownership. we all made mistakes at every game. deal with it and move on. we can only go up from here.

anyway, i just wanted to get that out there.
leave everything on the field. don't take any aggresions out with you. if you're angry with the team, be angry with the team on the field. there's no reason to point fingers.

also, i just wanted to elaborate on the goalie thing.
that was my first game ever as a goalie.
katie has been a goalie before.
i've never done it other than practices.
it's a learning experience and i appreciate the feedback.
and you don't understand the stress that builds during games.
and how much you beat yourself up.
if a goal goes by it's your fault, plain and simple.
but it's also a team thing.

moral of the story: field hockey...

so here it is..

and this is the part of life i like to call: reaching a milestone

my 100th blog, what you've been waiting for. and i decided not to put it off any longer.

honestly, you'll be disappointed. this isn't going to be some super amazing ordeal because i couldn't think of what would make it so fantastic.

all i know is how to write blogs like my others.
and doing anything different just wouldn't be me.

so i'm been on this site since december 8, 2009.
if you were to read that blog right now, you'd laugh and think i was pathetic because well, i was. haha
i honestly never thought anyone would read this because there was nothing worth reading. my life isn't all that exciting so why should people care about it?
well, if you're reading this right now, it's probably because you've read other blogs of mine. and some part of you cares. and i honestly appreciate that.


"Somehow I can't believe there are any heights
that can't be scaled by a man who knows the
secret of making dreams come true. This special
secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four
C's. They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and
Constancy and the greatest of these is Confidence.
When you believe a thing, believe it all the way,
implicitly and unquestionably."
- walt disney

and thanks for believing in me, because i totally believe in you.

moral of the story: 100 blogs. totally being sentimental. thanks for reading <33

99 (:

and this is the part of life i like to call: accomplishment.

i'm actually a little chilly right now. i like it (:
i also feel like i haven't communicated with people since friday.
my day off has been spent doing homework so far... exciting.

yesterday was a family cookout. that was bunches of fun. my cousin molly brought her boyfriend and i guess that was a big deal. she's 16. and i'm sure he was overwhelmed... the poor guy.
haha, i have a huge family. on both sides.
my mother has 9 sibling. 7 of which have at least 2 kids. i have about 30 cousins on that side... haha
my father has 7 siblings. 5 of which have at least 2 kids as well. i have about 20 cousins on that side.
BIG family.

i should be starting a paper right now on the american experience. this is the first assignment in english that will be graded...
i want to make a good impression. and i also want to get into a good habit of actually doing my work.

i decided that i will do my math and french homework in my study mod b. you don't really need to know that but writing it down makes it official to me.

i might not write here for awhile to put off my 100th post.
or i might write that post later tonight... ha, who knows?

i like sara bareillis. ever since love song came out.
random?

moral of the story: i actually did homework. my day off has been uneventful. huge family. english paper.

"haha" count: 3

this is my 98th post

and this is the part of life i like to call: trying new things.

i feel like i've been on blogger for awhile.. but it hasn't been a year.
i've also done a lot of growing up.
if you look at the first post ever in comparison to this one you'll see that i totally got into a flow and now i know how my posts are going to be.

in the beginning, i didn't know how often i would write here.
i didn't know if anyone would even read it.
if you've made it this far with me, congratulations. virtual hug.

every other sentimental thing will be left for the 100th post... haha

i watched the pursuit of happyness tonight.
yes, happyness with a y. (i double-checked. [i don't think that's hyphened...])
also, i got internet back in my room!
so now i can do more song filming.

something i realized: i used to write my own songs all the time. everything was a capella... but it's ok. i was really into that. i guess it's all phases? now i like writing about my life in a different sense. if you can write songs, that's a talent. it's hard to be able to write lyrics and fit it to music. and on top of that, you try to make it different from other things you've written and other things other people have written.
...but anyway. now i just cover other people's songs. writing is too much work.

if you've stuck this whole blog thing out, you probably noticed the morals i added. after watching the pursuit of happyness i wanted to add the "and this is the part of i life i call..." section. that'll be at the top... just in case you wanted to know my format. hahaha (:

moral of the story: so sentimental. not sentimental no, romantic not disgusting yet darling i'm down and lonely. - lisztomania by phoenix. POST 98, WHOOOT!

you don't know how it feels

to be outside the crowd.
you don't know what it's like
to feel left out.
and you don't know how it feels
to be your own best friend;
on the outside looking in.

my mind is just a mess, basically.

moral of the story: i'm too confused to actually write a blog. i'm going to actually think about things before i write in the heat of the moment.

love stinks, yeah yeah

i could really use a foot massage. it's too bad my feet are ticklish.
so the game was fun. and we won... obviously.
i guess all i need right now is to sleep.
i'll think about what i need to do tomorrow when the time comes.

my dog is really hyper right now?

raven symonne is on sonny with a chance. and my mom's watching it... haha so great.

INCOHERENT.

moral of the story: i'm tired.

ya know...

"i just want you to know; this thing between you and me? i am in. i am ALL in."

AHHHH <3333

moral of the story: sometimes i make gilmore girls references.

sweet sweet summer nights

my hair is in french braids.
hopefully it'll be sufficiently wavy tomorrow.
i'm not wearing any new clothes tomorrow. this is the first time that i've done that...

so all i have left to do is brush my teeth and get all my stuff together.
and then i'll be ready.
this is kind of a bittersweet feeling.
the first two days of school i'll be all pumped and whatnot.. but next week i'll pretty much hate school.
but then again, that all depends on my classes.

we have a field hockey game tomorrow. i'm not goalie. that's a good thing!
what else can i talk about...
if you really knew me made me cry yesterday. TV shows don't do that very often.

basically, that show puts so much in perspective for me.
there are people out there with problems that make mine look minuscule. my problems can't even be put into words. i don't know how to explain things.
i mean, i have a nice life. and i don't really have family issues. but i still feel blehhhh sometimes.

anyway, you should watch that show if you ever get the chance.
it's time for bed. especially if i'm waking up at 5 tomorrow... yay school.

moral of the story: school's tomorrow. i think we all realize that... and we have a field hockey game but i get to play the field. if you really knew me is a good show.