i was so happy for toy story (:

and inception is beating the social network in awards at the moment (:

i'm also surprised oprah didn't give everyone oscar's under their chairs or something...

vacation all i ever wanted, vacation gotta get away

friday: my dad's birthday. when i got home i was super excited for vacation and i found out Liza had died.

saturday: garrett's party! i actually left my house!

sunday: churchh. charlie the cute kid.

monday: learned about the situation in Libya. snhu banddd.

tuesday: shopped.

wednesday: did a lot of cleaning. bought music

thursday: my dad freaked out at me.

friday: christine and tracey came over! saw tangled. my mom and brother made a snowman. i actually played in the snow for the first time in like 3 years... and it was awesome!

saturday: vera's surprise party! (:

sunday: no church. no one in my family went? it was weird. bio homework for a majority of the day. watching the oscar's and maybe writing a response paper? maybss.

but basically, next to nothing happened over vacation. i went to two parties and had christine and tracey over. those were the highlights.

it could've been worse!

what's biology?

i don't want to!!! mehhhh!

...i feel like a five year old.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4cHp-4qGNk

i LOVE glozell. honestly. haha

so i'm not leaving my house... but

here have a picture!

christine and tracey are coming over eventually (:

we're gonna go see tangled

and we'll probs take major pictures. yo.

my mom and brother made a snowman(:

i photographed it

^^that's it.

also, i'm getting a haircut either tomorrow or sunday! yay!

can we be honest with ourselves for a minute?

so i bought pink's song perfect.

and the title is actually "f***ing perfect."

my itunes account is under my father's name so he gets e-mails after i buy everything.

he just told me that i can never buy a song like that again.

how hypocritical can someone get?

he swears all the time.

also, he told me i can't go on tumblr anymore. why does it matter?

sometimes, i can't deal with this.

i need to leave my house. for real.

also...

when i said goodnight to him i said "love you!"

and he didn't say anything back.

granted, he is slightly deaf...

and i know that he loves me back, but from today's events it's kind of scaring me.

i don't like to go to sleep without telling my family that i love them. just in case.

so at least he knows. and hopefully he'll have a nice day tomorrow.

i love my dad, don't get me wrong. i love him a lot. i'm a daddy's girl. but sometimes his rants don't make sense.

oh you know me, just rocking out to some lady gaga...

i bought new musics!

yay!

i can listen to adele on the go now!

...or gaga

don't be a drag, just be a queen.

nbd, just cleaned the whole house.

and i have to finish my bio homework.
and write my rough draft.

i really just want to leave.
i want to go driving.
i asked to drive home like 4 miles away from our house last night.
my mom was like "you need to start doing stuff around the house."
that was her response to "can i drive home?"
a simple "not now. you need to drive around more" would've been fine.
i don't get my parents sometimes.

i want to leave new hampshire.
it's time to go on vacation.
i need hawaii.

this just isn't right.

http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/02/whats-happening-libya-explained

good bus situation.

i was going to write this friday when i got home.

and then i got the news about Liza...

so i put it off.

but i decided that i shouldn't waste my happiness.

so what happened was...

*incoherent ranting and arguing*

"guys, guys, i know we're in a debate right now but i just thought i'd tell you... i like pie!"

haha, what? (:

"you're a bully!" -me

"see, you realize that Abby just called you a bull, right?" -person 1.

"oh sh*t, i'm a bully..." -person 2.

hahaha

also, i'm watching my life as liz online (: happiness!

so a few things happened at church today

i guess interesting things will get noticed if you actually sit in the pews...

so basically the first thing was that a teenage boy that i know walked in to church by himself.
he woke up, drove himself to church, and sat by himself.
i was really shocked. not because of the person but i've never seen anyone do that before.
it was really awesome.

okay, second thing was that there was a little boy behind us. his name was Charles but he liked to be called Charlie. anyway, Charlie met an adult lecture named Bob. and throughout mass they were talking. at the end of the mass, after Bob had left the pew, Charlie says "i like Bob. he's a nice guy." mind you, Charlie was about 5 or 6 years old.
that was really awesome too.

now the third thing that bothered me was that throughout the entire homily, there was a baby screaming. if your child is throwing a fit, you go downstairs. that's what it's for.
i didn't hear anything from the homily because of that..

it's a completely different mass experience upstairs

it just feels weird...

i don't know how to handle something like this

so every smile and every time i feel happy i feel like i shouldn't.

i also feel like i should have some sort of revelation... something that makes me either hate everyone and want to live the happiest life ever.

i guess i should keep in mind that i didn't know her, almost at all.

but that doesn't stop me from being angry.

this would be a totally inappropriate status.

RIP Liza Desharnais. You will be missed.
My cousin Liza died in Florida today. I don't even know what to do...
it's my dad's birthday. my uncle bobby called to tell him.
apparently her boyfriend killed her. this is not okay.
i've only seen her once or twice in my life, but she's still my cousin.
my dad has been on the phone pretty much all day.
i'm not asking for sympathy so much as prayers if you could, for our family.
thank you.

blaring so yestarday to hopefully get me in a good mood.

and i love when my dad comes home and goes "do the dishes."

hi dad. and how was your day?

it's his birthday tomorrow.

i have to be pleasant to him

but today i've just been "mehhhhhhh" all day.

ms. nault put me in a bad mood.

and i didn't do like, any homework.

and we didn't have any food in my house so all i brought was an apple.

and i got an 88% on my world history test. not even an A.

the only good thing that happened today was getting a 95% on a math test and i had a really good reed. but that doesn't really matter to anyone...

i'm dumb.

i should do my Macbroseph worksheets in class instead of reading along..

that way i won't be stuck with all of this in one night.

ugh.

also, these quizzes are ridiculously difficult.

also, we're getting our world history tests back tomorrow and if i didn't get an A i'll be so angry with myself.

also, i don't really know.

also, mcms concert bands are getting stupid.

bullying

so basically today i've witnessed where bullying begins and where it evolves too.

there's this girl on my bus. let's call her Amy. Amy dyed her hair black last year. she goes to a different school. i saw her this morning and was shocked to find that she had chopped her hair off. it was super short. i thought it looked fine. there weren't a lot of people on the bus in the morning to see.

when we picked her up in the afternoon everyone was silent the second she walked on the bus.

she sat by herself a few seats in front of me.

amy probably doesn't care what people thing.
the second she got off of the bus, everyone was like "oh my god... that looks to gross."" honestly? i may have said something under my breath this morning out of surprise, but it isn't gross. so along with just how terrible teenagers can be behind people's backs, this is just another example of how people on my bus are so judgmental.

and then i saw the beginning of some bullying.

i help out with the elementary school band (4th graders.)

there are three boys who play clarinet, but there are also like 30 clarinet players. everyone other instrument has way less. (and while that's awesome, the instrumentation is not right...)

anyway, so one of the conductors was like "where are all of the trumpets?"

and the trumpet players says "all of the girls quit."

and the conductor goes "well maybe some clarinets could switch to trumpet"

and at this point the trumpets were screaming "no!"

and some clarinets were like "i wanna play trumpet!"

anyway, this one boy, we'll call him Jimmy, is pretty rambunctious. he turns to the trumpet playeres and says "i wanna play trumpet!"

and one of his supposed trumpet playing friends says "no, you're a girl!"

now, when you're this age, being called a girl when you're not is a mucho insult.

Jimmy just laughed it off, but he gets made fun of a lot.

i hope it doesn't escalate into fights and being pushed and shoved and hurt. because he's a good kid.

so yeah. bullying. bad.

also, i feel sort of bad for not saying something to all of these people.

just standing by doesn't help either.

happy valentine's day!

basically, who cares if you don't have a valentine? be happy for the people that do.

honestly it is stupid to dedicate one day for this kind of thing when it should happen all the time, but whatever the card companies want... (they sort of rule the world.)

me: "do you ever feel, like a plastic bag?"

mom: no. never in my life have i ever felt like a plastic bag.

me: that's good!

ha, love her (:

oh, only gonna get get what you give away, so give love, love.

only thing i ever could need, only one good thing worth trying to be and it's love.

oh, i just can't get enough,

how much do i need to fill me up?

it feels so good it must be love

it's everything that i've been dreaming of

i give up, i give in, i let go, let's begin, 'cause no matter what i do

my heart is filled with you.

(there are my love songs of the day... bottle it up - sara bareilles and you got me - colbie caillat.)

i just realized at dinner at 9 o'clock that sacre-bleu literally means "holy blue."

so it's probably supposed to mean holy shhhhhhh. but the french are pleasant.

from now on instead of "oh shoot" i'm going to say "ohh, blue!"

(:

sometimes i wish no internet sites besides those with information existed.

then maybe i'd get something accomplished.

oh well... two mods to do these worksheets tomorrow.

sweatpants day.

nothing special or anything...

seriously. it's just another monday. everyone can calm down.

just had some dad & abby time

and my dad goes "your eyeliner.. er.. eye shadow looks really good. not trashy or anything like some girls."

"...thanks dad."

hahaha, so funny.

we have been told

we've seen his face
and heard his voice, alive in our hearts
'live in my love
with all your heart'
as the father has loved me,
so i have loved you.

"But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." (Matthew 5:33-37)

this post has been full of scripture... haha

YESSSSS.

"good morning.

Abigail is enrolled in the spring Driver Ed session."

I JUST FREAKED OUT.

AHHHHHHH!

YEAHHHHHH!

i can drive. i can drive. i can drive! (well, when it's over...)

SO. HAPPY. OH MY GOODNESS.

now i just have to explain to him that i can't make it to the first meeting... ha, okay.

weekends go by so quickly

going back to this quote.

oh my god, i made the whole thing up didn't i?

...my life.

i need to start my outline.

and i need to finish note-taking on my research stuff.

and i need to finish the worksheets for acts 1 & 2.

and i need to take a break.

i only practiced for like, 15 minutes today.

i'm just not feeling it.

there's so much to practice too...

mmhmmm. mhhhhhmmmmm.

let's edit this three times... nbd

it was just cute that i was the first thing you thought of.

i'm so ridiculous.

what am i doing?

gahhh.

emotions are useless.

"the only thing that's held me back from anything i want to do in my life is myself."

you've got the talking down, just not the listening.

"look, i spelled 'Abby' on my calculator!" haha, aww you did (:

all my life, i try to make everybody happy while i just hurt and hide; waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide.

"Ice Cube's the man because he smokes mad pot."

really? oh my bus...

hi. sorry those were a bunch of random things.

basically this is how lame i am: if something happens during the day that's significant or interesting, i'll write it somewhere. and then later i'll go back to it and be like "ohh, i should put this is my blog!"

not always a good idea...

i registered for driver's ed online. i hope they contact me or else i'll cry :/

i got everything all figured out. and it's going to work out! they just need to get back to me...

merp.

"did you meow at me today?"

"who else would it be?"

hahahahaha

also, i feel like tape tests are relative. and if the person listening to it likes you it doesn't matter how you do. because mcdoyle said that "i'm sure you were great." before he even listened to it. because my tape test was pretty bad... not gonna lie.

also, mclalos always bugs me about not auditioning for allstate. i know i should've. and i regret not. because if i don't make it next year i'll be a bad example.

i'm stressing too much about the future. unnecessary.

i have to go write a response paper...

"oh my god i made up the whole thing didn't i?"

"look at me, i don't have a date for valentine's day and i don't give a rip... everyone feels lonely... sometimes you have to choose between love and talent." -Mercedes.

(the title was Kurt.)

Sam deserves better.

Puck rocks.

(look at me taking notes during Glee... i don't have any homework... haha)

save the drama for ya mama

i saw him today.
and let me tell you... i'm so glad we don't go to the same school.
we'd probably be in some of the same classes.
every time i see him it just brings back every memory of what could've happened and what didn't happen.
i couldn't be around that.
don't come back for me; don't come back at all. who do you think you are?

also, we got our report cards today.
and i'm happy. i'm actually really happy.
i have a 3.67 gpa. and i'm 25th in the class.
and i don't really care what everyone else is... even though i asked a few people.
i wanted to be in the top 30 and i'm in the top 30.
it's all good (:

amiraaaa (:

i love this so much.

it deserved it's own blog post.

hahahaha, amira doesn't even read this.

whatever (:

she's in 7th grade... it's so weird that we're pretty good friends. but that shouldn't be weird...

she definitely doesn't seem like a 7th grader (:

bio bothers me

definitely never doubling up on sciences.

definitely getting reports cards tomorrow?

i already know every grade except economics which i'm pretty sure is an A. unless i managed to fail the final. which WOULD happen to me.

and of course i care about how i do.

it's important to me to be proud of myself for something.

what's that formspringer? you want me to be deep on command?

HAHAHAHA. okay.

just go; just walk away

don't you think for a moment; don't you think for a moment; yeah don't you think for a moment that you aren't worth all of it.

don't you be fooled

i loved you more than i would ever dare tell you; i'd ever dare tell you.

i'll let you go.

if you're on your way i'm not gonna write you to stay

i'm unusually hard to hold on to.

sara bareilles phase (:

when did i stop formatting posts?

hahahaha

and this is the part of life i like to call: mhmmm.

blah blah blah.

rant rant rant.

my life sucks.

insert song lyric/quote.

having fun isn't hard, when you've got a library card!

moral of the story is: something that doesn't make sense.

yupp.

i feel everything

i've made good decisions in friendships.

i'm glad.

english today was super fun

but now i have to do my annotated bibliography and i'm just like, not feeling it.

she said let's change our luck

this night is all we've got

drive fast until we crash; this dead end life.

sweet dreams that won't come true,

i leave it all for you.

brick walls are closing in let's make a run tonight.

flashback: 7th grade. listening to my cool kid music like a champ... hahahahahaha

oh god. it's seriously disturbing

it all got so mundane.

alphabetical order? alright.

but i have no idea how to sort ebscohost things. still. i suck.

haha

where are your guts to fly?

soaring through, through the night.

and if you take that last step i'll follow you

leave the edge and we'll fly; we're flying higghhhh.

ehh, i don't know.

i'm just a little confused.

i mean, how does this all make me feel?

so what's left to prove?

we have made it through.

i just had the biggest mini heart attack ever.

i thought our annotated bibliography was due tomorrow.

thankfully it's due friday.

i'm going to survive.

and every little thing is gonna be alright.

anyway, i'm just doing some more research.

so that tomorrow i can be sort of prepared when i go see ms. sears.

it's all good.

yet another conversation avec maggie

"just ask him if he wants to celebrate being single with you. and then he'll be like 'you don't have to be.' and proceed to sing and dance around you while simultaneously professing his love for you. and you'll get married and life is perfect." <--me. (obviously...) "ahhaa, you make me giggle." <--maggie. (also obviously.)

"it could happen..." <-- me again.

"yeah, the day he graduates..." <--maggie again. (depressingly.)

"totally a my life as liz moment."

^typical.

open your eyes

i see
your eyes are open
wear no disguise for me
come into the open.

when it's cold outside
am i here in vain?
hold on to the night
there will be no shame

oh my goodness...
^this song.

oh, happy february.