semi was fun

i like dancing. and i like jumping. and i like that everyone just takes there shoes off after the first half hour. and i like getting people that are uncomfortable dancing to dance.
i like my friends and i like dressing up. i like coordinating eye shadow perfectly to a dress. i like smokey eyes. i like winging eyeliner. i like having opportunities to get creative with makeup.

i don't like stepping in sprite while barefoot ): i don't like people who aren't very classy at dances... i don't like the effects of alcohol on some people.

i need to drink tea and practice my allstate music. because runs are hard.
gahhh mechanics. this is what happens when you play the clarinet...

and BOOM goes the shower inspiration

so i appear to be 5 foot 7 but in reality i feel like i’m 3 foot 11
because the weight of the world is pushing me down
and i feel like i should weigh 500 pounds
because to carry all of that weight you have to be strong
and i can’t carry the world very long.
you see, with all of this weight i feel like looking at the ground
but i keep my head up and look to the clouds
because i know that up there, no one cares
if you’re black or you’re blue, or if you have gray hairs.
down here, they try to tell me to write like this or that
but up there they don’t judge; skinny or fat.
i can’t live up to everyone’s expectations
whether it’s writing or music, i have no explanation
i’m not a progidy with with all of their fans
because when i play the clarinet it’s with my own two hands.

i really like this...

also, i just realized i've been on blogger for 3 years and a month.... hahahahaha
this is a funny concept to me. because that's a long time to be doing something.

i'm committed i guess. if there were ever something to say about me it would be that.
i'm not very motivated, but i'm committed. are those the same? not really.

i can be committed without being motivated. that's basically everything i do!

how many grams of solid sodium carbonate should theoretically be made by the reaction of 4.00g of NaHCO(3)?
conversions are fun.

things are about to get personal.

so i can't even listen to strawberry by paul baribeau sometimes. just because it reminds me of this one night. and ugh.

also, everytime i see a high ropes course again in my life i'll be brought back to this other day.

what do these both have in common? well, a mistake clearly. but also memories that are really nice to think about but can't happen again.

the ropes course though... i can't even begin.
none of you that read this were there... so it won't even make sense.
it was raining. it was so much fun.

strawberry. stars. meh.

okay, yeah.

i'm "studying" for chem right now. to be honest, i could care less about this midterm. it'll be cake. i'll be fine. no worries.

lists and things

concert tomorrow...
i'm playing tenor. i'm also to oldest one in the ensemble other than my mother...
it's all for mr. doyle.. haha, helping out our buddy.
i think i'll curl my hair. because it looks nice like that and it'll be a test run for curling it for semi.

semi...
dress shopping is always a weird and bittersweet experience for me.
i'll see all of these dresses that look nice and then look at sizes and have to walk away from them.
shopping in general is always hard.
it's always been this way.

so i find that i'm most productive when i make lists.
tomorrow: -wake up at 9:45.
-get ready, concert. staying at the concert to listen to friends play music.
-then home.
-probably chem review sheets, making sure my cheat sheets have everything i need.
(basically i only need a 66% to pass chem with an A. haha... i really like chemistry...)
-then practicing allstate stuff and scales because band midterm...
-then starting history review early.
-oh, and math packet at some point?
okay. i can do this.

slam poetry inspired me... hahaha

16 years.
i've been on this earth for only 16 years.
all of the things i've experience, all that i know doesn't even compare to that of those older and superior to me.
what i do know?
never in my life have i been without a meal on my dining room table or a roof over my head.
never in my life have i not had the supplies needed to achieve everything that i aspired to have.
never in my life have i suffered.
how can people be so ignorant?
how do you not love your parents?
these are the questions i may never get the answers to.
the hardest thing for me to grasp is how someone who has so much care so little about it?
i'm so thankful every single day for the opportunities life presents me.
i'm so thankful every morning to wake up and know that when i get home, there will still be a roof over my head and food on the dining room table.
i'm so thankful every night when i can take a shower with hot water and sleep in a warm bed.
how can you not love your parents?
these are the questions i may never get the answers to.

sometimes i just sit and laugh at my life.

hahaha, what am i doing.

so, history homework... that's a cool concept.
and reading muchos chapters of uncle tom's cabin... that's a cool concept.

like, actually doing amstud homework would really be worth it.
it really would.
i just suck. basically.

what. am. i doing.

great. awesome.
there's nothing i can't stand more than waiting all day for something to happen and then being let down.